Almost Always Never You
by E. S. Tripp
Summary: WilsonOther, bits of H/Cam House meets a therapist, and gets Wilson to see her about his commitment problems.


1In which House meets a Therapist

A day never started well when Gregory House was caught and dragged into the clinic. House tried to come in early to avoid just that, but it looked like Cuddy's day had started early… and not well either. The snarks and comments bounced off of her like rubber balls and she returned the verbal volleys without pause. He ended up in the clinic fifteen minutes after he arrived.

House grabbed a chart without looking at it and walked to exam room three. When he opened the door, there was a woman sitting with her back to him, wearing a hospital gown opened in the back and nothing else. His gaze traveled from her messy brown hair down a graceful neck, to two smooth shoulders leading down a long lean back, into a big, red, raw scrape that disappeared down her backside. He shuddered visibly, and said, "Now that looks like a painful, but interesting story."

The woman turned to look at him. She glanced at the small TV he had taken out and smiled wryly. "It is, not that you're interested," she drawled in a Southern accent that rivaled Scarlet O'Hara. House just stared at her. The woman shifted uncomfortably and grimaced. "It's just a bit of road rash. It's hard to get this cleaned and treated by myself. It's been two days, and I've given up." Still no answer. "This is actually pretty embarrassing, you know," she whispered, glancing at the people staring in through the door.

House looked behind him and then back at her. "Naw! I'm not embarrassed, and they see naked women all the time!" he mocked, gesturing to the nurses and doctors through the open door. They were all peering in at the House's words. House turned back to the people behind him and said sternly, "You all should be ashamed of yourselves." The nurses hurriedly went back to bustling through files and the doctors continued on with their duties. Finally, House walked in and slammed the door.

The woman rolled her eyes, but she had a small smile on her face as she went straight to business. "Look, all I need you to do is clean it up and bandage it. Then I'll be on my way and you can watch TV."

House went to the cabinet and pulled out antiseptic and bandages. "Well. We could do that. But judging by the fact that you're here, I'm guessing you're not seeing anyone who can help you, and you don't have any family here." The woman narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips. House could see her grip tighten on the exam table. He grinned, and looked over to the pile of clothes. "And the fact you wore jeans, a t-shirt, and flip-flops, you're also not going back to work or anywhere important." He began to clean out the wound on her back and she stiffened in pain.

"You're very observant," she said calmly. She didn't cry out or grimace, which impressed him.

"You're not as big a wimp as I thought you'd be," he said. They were silent for awhile, and as House finished bandaging her up, he asked, "I don't suppose you watch _All My Children_?"

She looked at him suspiciously, "I get the impression that you don't like many people. So I'm going to guess you're using me to get out of work."

"And you would be correct," House replied.

"Why me?"

"Well, you're easy on the eyes, your accent isn't as grating as I thought," he paused again, grinning devilishly, and said, "And you won't hurt my reputation as a lady's man if anyone notices you leave two hours later."

The woman just stared at him for a moment, then sighed. "Well, I really don't have much to do today."

House smirked and flopped down next to her on the examination table, propping the TV up and turning it on.

The woman smirked in return and replied, "Besides, your reputation seems like it needs all it can get."

House turned to look in shock at the woman, who in turn smiled at him innocently. He glowered back, then turned back to the TV, muttering, "I knew there was a downside to this. I should have waited for Wilson to catch me. His verbal wit is laughable at best."

The woman gave him a curious glance and asked, "Who's Wilson?"

Wilson walked into the exam room to find House sitting with a half-naked brunette watching _All My Children_. He said slyly, "And you were trying to avoid clinic duty today."

House huffed and rolled his eyes, popping a handful of Skittles in his mouth. "Still am."

Wilson ignored him, and continued to stare at the woman. Without looking, the woman asked, "Is this Wilson?" She had a wonderfully rich Southern voice that was every bit as sexy as she was. The sound of it surprised Wilson as much as the question had. Wilson looked back at House, his mouth hanging open in silent query.

House looked over at the woman. "You owe me twenty bucks." Then he looked back at Wilson. "I bet her that you would find me before _All My Children_ was over."

The woman scowled, but it seemed fake. She simply stated, "I'll bet you fifty, that Greenleigh leaves the show."

House looked at her incredulously at her and said, "You're bluffing."

Without missing a beat or breaking his gaze, she upped the ante. "Make it a hundred."

House studied her a moment and a devious grin grew. "You got a deal."

Wilson watched with interest as they shook hands and went back to watching. He was stunned when the woman stole some of House's skittles without any admonishment. After a moment, he asked what she was here for.

Before she could answer, House gave him an annoyed glance. "Honestly Wilson. Don't you think I take care of my patients?"

Wilson just put his hands on his hips and glared.

House sighed. "She's got bit of an addiction problem."

Wilson looked at the woman, but she seemed engrossed in the drama. "That doesn't explain why she's practically naked, with only a hospital gown covering her!" he hissed. The woman rolled her eyes and shushed them. House looked back at the TV.

"She an adrenaline junkie."

The woman smirked slightly, eyes still glued to the screen.

"She was street racing and had a bit of a tumble. She's got a nasty bit of road rash in a hard-to-reach place."

Wilson looked shell-shocked.

"On her back! Honestly Wilson, get your mind out of the gutter."

The woman turned and gave Wilson a curious look. Wilson had his hands up in defense, ready to deny everything when House laughed. "Relax Jimmy, I was just joking." The brunette smiled and winked at Wilson before turning back to the TV. House then gave a shifty-eyed look to the woman, and leaned over towards Wilson. He stage-whispered behind his hand, "Personally, I think that's why women should always ride bitch or not at all."

Wilson gave him a disapproving glare.

"What?" House asked innocently. "You think she heard me?"

They watched the screen in silence, until Wilson's curiosity got the better of him and he asked, "When did you get into street-racing bikes?"

She looked over at him. "I had to get through college somehow."

House snorted. "What? Didn't Daddy spring for your overpriced future or was the strip club not paying enough?"

Wilson thought she would get angry, but all she did was give him a smile that showed nothing but mocking humor. "Actually, Daddy did pay for college. He just didn't pay for all the extra stuff. Like books and school supplies, a place to live, or food. You know, the _minor_ stuff. He said I needed to figure out how to take care of myself."

House shot her a skeptical look.

Wilson asked, "Didn't he disapprove?"

"He's the one that gave me the bike." She laughed at his expression, but went on. "He didn't know until I was slammed along a straight drag, and hit the wall of a department store in my third year. I spent six months in physical therapy and have scars to prove it." At this, she lifted the gown just over her right hip. A pale, thick scar ran from her right hip all the way to her knee. He could barely see the faint scars crisscrossing her arms and lower leg. Wilson shifted uncomfortably and looked away. House leaned over and tried to lift her gown up further. The woman frowned and slapped his hand away good-naturedly.

Wilson pretended not to notice the interaction and said, "Your dad must've been pretty worried."

"Yeah, well; it wasn't as bad as it looked. He was more pissed than worried."

House rolled his eyes, "Aww, did Daddy take your toy away? Slap you on the wrist and get you a job working with him so he could keep you out of trouble?"

"My, my. Aren't we bitter?" She smirked at him and he stuck his tongue out at her. "Nope. He was more pissed that I wrecked it, since it was apparent that I would live. He bought me a brand new bike, and told me when I recovered to kick some ass and win back the money he paid for the new bike."

Wilson let out a low whistle.

"Not only did I pay up, I had to pay him interest." She chuckled.

House turned back to the TV. "I still say women should ride bitch." It was said half-heartedly, and Wilson watched the rest of the bantering in awe.

The brunette finally rose, and went to the back of the room. Wilson looked worried, but she just had an amused expression for him. "I'm just going to get dressed. It's getting a bit _windy_ in here," she stated. House rolled his eyes. She closed the door to the adjoining room.

Wilson looked back at House, who was still watching the screen. "What's going on?" he demanded.

"What are you talking about? "

"You're acting all … chummy … a-and … _nice_! With a _patient_!" The last was said with a girly shriek.

House finally gave him a look of false concern. "Jimmy, you seriously need to lay off the lattes. You're starting to sound like a jealous woman."

Wilson huffed impatiently.

"She's a patient who likes betting on _All My Children_ and street racing," House finally said before turning back to the TV.

"Do you even know her name?"

House looked confused. "Your point being?"

Wilson was about to retort, but the woman came out and he was rendered speechless again. She certainly was beautiful. Her hair was dark chestnut, and currently pulled up in a messy ponytail. Her eyes matched her hair and were set in a full rosy face. She had the most inviting lips, and they were moving.

"Wilson, close your mouth," House stated. Wilson's mouth snapped shut and he looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.

The woman cleared her throat. "As I was saying, I'm Dr. Eleanor Ellis, but you can call me Lennie."

House rolled his eyes. "Well, _Lennie_, I only take cash." Lennie just smirked at sat back down next to House.

It wasn't long before House started to realize he might have to eat his words. Ten minutes after that, House sat back amazed, the sappy music playing to the credits. "Son of a-" House snapped his mouth shut, and whirled towards the smirking woman. "How did you know that?" he demanded. Wilson chuckled and received a death-glare. "Do you get some kind of insider information?"

Lennie laughed outright. "Nope. I'm just psychic," she snarked, and waited for them to respond. House still looked annoyed, but Wilson almost believed her. She laughed at them both and House rolled his eyes. "Actually, you could see _that_ coming a mile away. Soaps are so predictable." She smiled smugly, "You wouldn't believe how much money I've made betting on soaps." She laughed again.

"Wait. What are you a doctor of exactly?" House already had an idea, and it wasn't a good one.

Lennie looked at him, and she put on a professional smile that revealed nothing. "I'm a therapist."

House's expression immediately went blank, and his body relaxed into a neutral position. Wilson looked uncomfortable as the tension in the room kicked up a couple of notches.

Lennie just rolled her eyes. "Unless you're going to _pay_ me for a session, then you don't need to get tense. I'm not going to _analyze_ you."

House just stated, "You already did."

She leered. "No. I played you. There is a difference. Anyway, I got 100 bucks out of it. Besides, I'm a sex therapist." She winked and House looked away, but relaxed. Lennie fished a card out of her purse and handed it to him. "Here. When you get over yourself and end the tantrum, you can drop by with my money." She looked over at Wilson. She gave him a genuine smile, took his hand and shook it. She had a firm handshake, which was surprising. "It was nice to meet you Dr. Wilson."

He smiled back. "Likewise." She turned to leave, but he stopped her again. "Let me know when you come back to the clinic. I'd literally pay to see you go another round with House." Lennie gave him a long, knowing look then finally nodded. He felt uncomfortable under her gaze, but House broke the mood saying, "Make sure your hair looks messy, it's more suggestive that way." Lennie glowered and left.

"Don't even think I didn't see that." House said still staring at the screen.

"What?"

"You're practically deciding on a date for the wedding already."

Wilson exhaled sharply. "You're an ass."

"Oh, stop! Flattery will get you nowhere," House mocked.

Wilson stalked out and House went back to watching TV.


End file.
